I\’d like to state the obvious…

School has officially begun. It’s so good to be back. I had my first class today: Christian Theology 1. it was pretty sweet and I met some cool girls in there. I can tell that that class is gonna be really hard but that it’s gonna help me alot in my walk. My hope is that at the end of this semester I love God more than I ever have, that I understand God more than I ever have, and that I have a stronger faith than I ever have.. it will be a very successful school year if these things happen.

On a heartier note, I went by Founder’s cafe on my way back from class and Liz made me the most amazing Italian sub I have ever eaten. Man. It was good. Every one of you should come to Founder’s with me and eat an Italian sub.

Well, study time. Peace.

I. am. lonely.

I’m so weird sometimes.  I go through these phases, they can even be like months at a time when I am perfectly content and even happy being alone.  At these times I look forward to being alone and being able to get lost in the mind of Plath or MacArthur or in the movements of my paintbrush.

But, alas!  There are the months in between when I am utterly alone (rather, I just feel utterly alone?) and hate it.  Friends are at work.  My inbox is empty.  Nobody is answering their phones.  And i guess since I know that I am in the lonely-funk-time of the year when I talk to people I almost always feel fake.  Like they think that I am only talking to them because I am lonely. 

Of course.  this is ridiculous.  i know it is.  it’s just.  i am starved for conversation.  for someone to call me and ask to get coffee with me and to talk. to. me.

i actually feel less lonely now then i did before writing this pointless blog. imagine that.

939-2749.  if you call, i’m pretty sure i’ll answer it.

It’s been forever since I have last written and that is because I couldn’t think of anything to write about… but now I do lol.

I have been attending a new church and I cannot possibly express how much of a blessing that this church has been in my life even though I have been there for such a short time.  I have met some awesome new friends who I can just hang out with (and they aren’t just church goers- these girls are devout christians who are trying to daily to submit their lives to Christ) and I have also met and have enjoyed getting to know women who are older than me.  I have loved watching their example as they grow in their spiritual walk while maintaining healthy marriages and families.

I met my mentor through this church as well!  I was string to think that I would never get a mentor and that I would be stuck in theological stagnation forever!  But the Lord is SO good and he has blessed me with getting to know Kara.  I am learning so much from her.

One huge thing that God showed me through Kara was that when I was baptized at 14, I was not really a believer.  Why?  Because nothing in my life was showing any form of spiritual rebirth- in fact I fell deeper into sins.  I had the intellect to know that I should  believe in God but nothing really pierced my heart.  I knew nothing about what it truly means to be a Christian.

It is not just going to church 1-3 times a week ( although this is important).  It is not just praying and reading the Word when you feel like it.  It means hating your father and mother and your brothers and sisters, it means bearing our crosses and following Christ no matter what the cost (cf. Luke 14:25-33).

My relationship with Christ means that I cannot continue to give into my sinful desires and deny Jesus his lordship.

True spiritual rebirth means forsaking all that is apart from Christ and giving out lives over to Him in humble submission so that through us God’s will would be achieved. 

So, because of the weightiness of becoming a disciple of Christ I now know what bearing my cross means and I know that I will suffer and endure persecution for the name of Christ Jesus our Lord.  But I also know that the pain and struggles that we go through here on earth are but short lived and an eternal life awaits us.  A life free from sin and pain.  For it is there that we will truly know the Father.

All of this to say that this coming weekend I will be baptized as a believer who knows the Gospel and truly gets it.  I understand the wrath of God that was poured out on Jesus so that we could enter the Kingdom.  I understand that by God’s grace alone am I able to know Christ. 

I was talking to a woman at my work the other day about her son.  He was to have prom this weekend.  We started talking about sex and marriage and babies.  As I was listening to her talk, her views about femininity and marriage (biblical marriage at least) became very clear as she made the following statement:

“Wait until you are at least 25 to even think about marriage and don’t even think about having kids until years after you’ve been married.  I waited 8 years to have my son and 8 years was not enough.  I hear of couples who have just gotten married and they become pregnant and I just know they are heading straight for divorce.”

I find this statement disgusting.  Children are not a means of divorce.  They are gift from our Heavenly Father, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3).

What has our culture evolved into?  When did children become so reviling and more- when did divorce become so easy for people to give in to?  Do vows, made before God, mean nothing to these people?

Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church.  If we truly considered marriage in that respect then would divorce even be an option among christians?  I mean, would we be so quick and even eager to divorce ourselves from Christ?  What is now the typical marriage has become a mockery of who Christ is in relation to us. 

If we love Christ enough, if we want God glorified through everything we do- then surely we must not exclude marriage.  Marriage is not a cultural issue.  God’s call to marriage has not changed but somewhere alog the lines we, as a society, have.  We must hold true to Scripture and reject the culture that threatens our theology.  “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?” (James 4:4).

We must look to God’s word for how He looks at marriage.  He does not view marriage as something to be afraid of or something that we must toil through.  Hebrews 13 tells us that marriage is to be “…held in honor among all…”

“Take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, for my hope is in your rules.  I will keep your law continually forever and ever, and I shall walk in a wide place, for I have sought your precepts.  I will also speak of your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame, for I find my delight in your commandments, which I love.  I will lift up my hands toward your commandments, which I love, and I will meditate on your statutes.”

-Psalm 119:43-48